life has been grey

I'm not sure why, but life has been very grey for me lately. I think that it has something to do with change. Everything will be changing soon. I'm not exactly sure what will happen, but my best guess is that I will be moving away, starting a new job and starting a new life. Beyond this though, I think, in general, I don't like the idea of working. I never have. I don't want to spend my life working in the sense that I don't want to waste time doing something that isn't really going to impact people's lives. It's hard to express exactly, but I've abhored the 9 to 5 and disdained the idea of having a position, a title. It's all too limiting. I understand why it must exist, but for me it doesn't fit. It strangles.

My whole life has been this adventure that God has placed before me. Going as the wind would take me, from here to there to the next place. I didn't care about anything else. I was caught up in what I could do and what I could be. I was in love with the world, trying to understand it, trying to grow, trying to make a difference. Perhaps now, I am burned out. Perhaps I am just older and things happen and you stop having the freedom to ride the wind. I want the freedom back. How dare they make me a prisoner...I am a spirit to not be tamed.

Maybe I can find my freedom... maybe I can find the wind...